When I first played the Shadow of the Colossus remake back in 2018, I titled my review of it, “not a masterpiece but a really fun game.”
Eight years and multiple playthroughs later, I wonder what the hell I was smoking when I wrote that… and I don’t even smoke!
The tale of Wander’s journey across the Forbidden Land to kill all sixteen Colossi is both simple and yet undeniably tragic by the end.
It is a masterful story with some (mostly) masterful boss fights, from Valus, all the way to Malus.
So, after something like my fifth playthrough, I have decided to rank all sixteen Colossi from the weakest to my absolute favorite.
My opinion on Shadow of the Colossus may have become much more positive over the years, but there is one Colossi I still have a very negative opinion on.
That Colossi is…

16. Celosia, the Eleventh Colossus.

Celosia was my least favorite Colossus on my first playthrough, and it is still my least favorite all these years later. 
For starters, it is the smallest of the Colossi, going against the game’s trope of scaling massive giants.
In order to beat Celosia, you need to bait it into knocking a flaming torch down, which you can use to scare it off a ledge, exposing its weak point.
Simple enough, right?
Wrong.
See, if Celosia knocks Wander down at any point during the fight you are probably screwed.
This is because Wander’s recovery time is pretty much the exact same as Celosia’s attack windows.
So, by the time Wander gets up, he has just enough time to regret that decision before Celosia charges him into a game over screen.
There is one way to avoid this, button mashing to increase Wander’s recovery, but the game does not tell you about this.
So, on your first few play throughs, you will probably, like me, find yourself getting hit by Celosia and caught in a hit loop, resulting in Wander’s death.
However, even when you expose Celosia’s weak point, the problems do not end.
This is because it feels almost impossible to get a hit in when riding Celosia back to the original fighting spot.
It will just keep running and shaking itself, giving Wander no time to strike the beast, before his stamina meter runs out.
All of these issues combine to make Celosia easily the worst of all sixteen Colossi.
Every time I replay the game, I always dread fighting Celosia, because I know I am not going to have a fun time.  

15. Phaedra, the Fourth Colossus.

I will give Phaedra this, they have a pretty great design.
A giant stone horse, with crab-like legs, the design is unfortunately all Phaedra really has going for it.
To beat Phaedra, you have two options.
You can either lure him to the tunnels and jump up his braids once he bends down, or circle around in the tunnels to jump onto his tail.
Either way can get you to his weak point, making the fight seems simple enough.
The problem is Phaedra’s attention span.
You have to constantly shoot arrows at it, otherwise Phaedra will lose interest and walk away.
A lot of the times, I entered the tunnels, waited for Phaedra to get into position to jump on him, only to walk out after a long time waiting and find him walking away from me.
Most of your time fighting him will be spent trying to get into place, rather than actually scaling him.
It creates a lot of frustration and, even when you reach Phaedra’s weak point, he is not that fun, since it is pretty easy to just hold on and stab at him.
Phaedra appears promising, given his design, but the fight quickly turns frustrating, pushing him all the way down near the bottom.

13. Hydrus, the Seventh Colossus.

One of the few water-based Colossi, I know I had fun fighting Hydrus.
It felt tense to run along his back when he surfaced, hold on for dear life when it went underwater, and stab certain points so Wander would not be electrocuted.
The problem?
The sheer amount of time it takes to grab ahold of the damn thing.
Hydrus is one of the slowest moving Colossi and it takes forever for it to get into position so you can grab onto its tail.
Wander’s slow swim speed does not help matters, and things get worse if you miss or run out of stamina.
Either one, means having to restart the slow, boring process of trying to grab Hydrus’ tail all over again.
As a result, much like Phaedra, it is a boss you spend more time trying to get into place, rather than actually fighting.
If they had made the boss faster, it probably would have been a lot higher than it is.  

13. Cenobia, the Fourteenth Colossus.

In my first review of Shadow of the Colossus, I said Cenobia was my least favorite boss, alongside Celosia.
Subsequent playthroughs have improved my opinion of this boss (as well as of the entire game).
Starting on the negatives, Cenobia is just as small as Celosia, resulting in a less than awe inspiring encounter.
The charge death loop problem from Celosia is also here.
Thirdly, while the obstacle course to beat Cenobia is fun, if you die (which I did on my first attempt this playthrough) it becomes a bit tedious to do it all over again.
Finally, I would have put Cenobia’s constant shaking in the negatives, until I learned mid-fight that you have to bait him to charge into the fallen pillars, stunning it and giving Wander enough time to deliver some blows to the weak point.  
As for the positives, like I said, it is fun on the first run to constantly jump from falling pillar to falling pillar.
Also, once you figure out the way to stun him post obstacle course, like I did, the fight is a breeze.
These qualities pushed Cenobia up a few placements from the bottom, even if it is still on the weaker end of Colossi.  

12. Quadratus, the Second Colossus.

Quadratus makes quite the first impression with his cutscene, smashing through a wall to reach Wander before the fight begins.
Despite the intimidation factor, Quadratus is a simple fight.
You just have to shoot the soles of his hooves with arrows, causing him to fall, and allowing Wander to climb and then stab him.
Easy enough.
Granted, Quadratus is only the second Colossus of the game, so it makes sense that his fight is so simple.
But, when ranking him amongst the other Colossi, it becomes hard to justify placing him any higher.
He is a good boss, which teaches the player some of the games mechanics, like shooting weak points with arrows, but on replays he is a little too simple.  

11. Basaran, the Ninth Colossus.

Speaking of Quadratus teaching players to shoot weak points with arrows, this is seen nowhere better than with Basaran.
Whenever I see someone rank the Colossi, Basaran usually sits somewhere near the bottom.
I have it a few places higher, but it is easy to see why so many have negative opinions on this fight.
For one thing, Basaran moves extremely slow.
This makes guiding it over the geysers a tedious experience, especially with how the geysers are pretty inconsistent with their timing.
What makes the fight much more bearable for me is Basaran’s attacks,
He will shoot fireballs at you constantly, requiring Wander to use his horse Agro to evade, creating a few exhilarating moments, like the one in the image above.
Once Basaran is positioned over the exploding geyser, shoot the bottom of his feet like Quadratus taught you, then scale the beast to stab his weak point.
Basaran might be a slow fight, but it has just enough interesting about it to put him in the eleventh spot.  

10. Pelagia, the Twelfth Colossus.

We enter the top ten with Pelagia, another water fight, like with Hydrus, but a much better one.
The steps to fighting Pelagia are more complicated, though.
First, you have to swim around him so you can climb on his back.
Once that is done, you hit the teeth-like objects on his head to guide him to one of the platforms.
When you have reached the platform, jump on it and hide to avoid his lightning blasts, before jumping to reach his weak point when he finally presents it.
It is strange that I enjoy this fight when there are so many steps to actually complete it, but that is due to the pacing, I think.
When you learn how to beat him, the fight moves pretty quickly, unlike Hyrdus, which takes so long. 
It is a lot of fun to move Wander and Pelagia from different positions, all to expose the Colossi’s weak point, leading to a leap of faith to reach it.
Pelagia is one of the most complicated bosses in the game, but that complication provides plenty of fun.    

9. Valus, the First Colossus.

The first Colossi in the game, Valus, is obviously way simpler than the twelfth.
He serves as a tutorial fight for the rest of the game, after all.
And what a tutorial battle he is.
There is nothing like booting Shadow of the Colossus up for a beginner’s playthrough and seeing Valus stomp across his boss arena for the first time.
Most players will find themselves thinking, I’m supposed to fight that!?
Thankfully, Valus does not serve as much of a challenge, with the weak point on his leg making it easier to climb him, and the balconies he has which you can stand on without losing stamina.
Yet, despite the exhilarating experience climbing and defeating him, the sad music which plays upon Valus’ his death hints that what Wander is doing is not right.
This score will haunt the player which each Colossi they slay, and it all begins with Valus.
Valus may be a simple fight to teach the player the game’s mechanics, but he makes quite the impression in doing so.   

8. Malus, the Sixteenth Colossus.

We go from the first Colossi fight in the game to the final one.
The buildup to Malus is magnificent, with the tragic loss of our horse Agro, and then having to dodge fireballs to reach the biggest of all Colossi. 
Malus is also a pretty tragic figure since, given his extreme height, he has probably seen the beams of light, as all 15 Colossi before him have fallen to Wander’s blade, meaning he knows we are coming.
No wonder he attempts to shoot Wander on sight.
When you finally reach Malus, you are in for a long climb to the top of his head, and it feels like you have surpassed truly insurmountable odds upon killing him.
Malus would be a lot higher on this list if it was not for the shere frustration that inevitably arrives when he shakes you off near the top and you have to climb him all over again.
This is at its worst during the part where you have to shoot an arrow at his shoulder, while constantly trying to hold onto a hand which is moving around.
The arrow controls make this moment even more frustrating, and I am sure most players fall at least once here.
It is a shame because otherwise Malus is a great final fight for Shadow of Colossus, being both awe inspiring and tragic. 

7. Dirge, the Tenth Colossus.

Back when I played Shadow of the Colossus for the first time, Dirge was one of my favorite bosses.
This stayed true for all of my following playthroughs.
So, when I decided to play through the game so I could rank the bosses, I was sure Dirge would be in the top five, if not the top three.
Unfortunately, I encountered a few hiccups, which placed him at number seven.
Starting with the fantastic, being pursued by Dirge on Agro is one of the most intense experiences Shadow of the Colossus can offer.
Sure, the arrow controls while riding can be a bit to get used to but, once you master it, the chase becomes extremely fun.
My issues this playthrough arrived when I stunned Dirge.
The first time I stunned him, I got turned around for a minute and could not find him.
I figured when I did finally locate him, I would have no time to attack but no, Dirge was just patiently waiting for me to climb and stab him.
The second time I stunned him, I got him one hit away from death, when I decided to jump off because of how much he was shaking, sure that he was about to dive beneath the sand.
Instead, Dirge just sat there, waiting for me to deliver the killing blow.
I am not sure I encountered a glitch or Dirge was designed this way, but him just patiently waiting for me to kill him greatly lessened the intensity of the fight.
That being said, the chase is still exhilarating enough to put Dirge all the way up at number seven. 

6. Barba, the Sixth Colossus.

Much like Dirge, Barba’s fight begins with a chase, although not on Agro.
Wander has to flee towards a passage, climbing walls which Barba smashes behind him and, if you aren’t quick enough, smashes through you.
Once Wander reaches the passage, it becomes a game of waiting for Barba to kneel down, much like with Phaedra.
However, unlike Phaedra, Barba’s AI can be relied upon because he does it relatively quickly.
From there, you just need to jump on Barba’s beard, unique to the Colossi, climb it up to reach his weak points and just stabby-stab from there.
With a great starting chase and reliable AI to reach his weak point, the Sixth Colossus makes it all the way to number six on this ranking.
Funny how that worked out.  

5. Kuromori, the Eighth Colossus.

Despite being on the smaller side of Colossi, like Celosia and Cenobia, Kuromori is a fantastic fight.
The lizard-like Colossus will scale the walls in its sanctum to reach you, which you can turn against the creature by shooting its leg with arrows, causing Kuromori to fall.
From there, you have to decide to run or jump down, risking fall damage to attack Kuromori.
Rinse and repeat until the Colossi falls.
Granted, I do make it sound easier than it is.
On harder difficulties, it is very easy to die by Kuromori’s laser breath, and I died to him more than any other Colossi.
However, unlike the other smaller Colossi with their unfair charge attacks, Kuromori’s laser shots felt fair and were intense to avoid.
Kuromori shows how a smaller Colossi should be handled, putting him in fifth place.

4. Avion, the Fifth Colossus.

When I first finished Shadow of the Colossus, Avion was my favorite boss fight.
While I do still love him, he has fallen down a few spots in subsequent playthroughs.
Much like how Valus’ arrival stuns first-time players, there is nothing like grabbing hold of Avion for the first time and being carried off into the sky, while holding on for dear life. 
It was the moment which truly taught me how far Wander was willing to go to resurrect Mono, as he hung upside down from Avion’s wings.
Running the length of the Colossi’s wingspan, all the way to the tail to strike the weak points creates a view like no other.
So, why is at number four and not number one?
Well, when you fall off Avion, depending on where you land, it can be a bit of a chore to get back into place to trigger the Colossi.
As I said when talking about Hydrus, Wander’s swim speed it extremely slow, so it feels a bit tedious to get back into place if you fall far away from the platform.
Otherwise, Avion is a fantastic boss who just misses out on the top three.

3. Gaius, the Third Colossus.

Much like how the sixth Colossi came in sixth place, the third Colossi comes in third.
Gaius is pretty much the poster child of Shadow of the Colossus at this point, what with him being on the cover of the remake.
And you know what?
That position is entirely earned because he is one of the game’s best fights.
The tallest Colossi you have fought at that point, Gaius is unique in that the way he attacks you is also the way to beat him.
You have to position Wander deliberately, so Gaius’ next strike hits the platform at the center of the arena.
This will chip off some of the stone around Gaius’ arm, allowing Wander to climb up his sword on his next strike, and more easily attack him.
There is also unexpectedly some humor with Gaius’ fight because, upon defeat, you can actually see Wander being thrown from Gaius as he falls, something which always gets a laugh out of me.
One of Shadow of the Colossus’ most iconic fights, Gaius is easily the third best boss, in my opinion.

2. Argus, the Fifteenth Colossus. 

While Gaius is the poster child of the game, I would argue Argus is actually the most underrated boss in Shadow of the Colossus.
Most people seem to rank him a little under or below the top ten, while I think he is amazing.
His introduction makes for one hell of an impression, as he climbs up a cliff to face you, weapon in hand.
It is probably the biggest aura farming moment of the entire game.
The arena you fight Argus in is also one of the best, taking place in massive ruins, which really make you question what the Forbidden Lands were like before it was abandoned, and if Dormin had anything to do with its destruction.
Back to Argus himself, after tricking him into stomping on a platform, and into knocking down sections of buildings to reach him, including a bridge, you can jump upon his head to attack the weak point.
But there is a final trick to Argus, which is a hidden weak point upon the hand holding his weapon.
You need to stab him in the arm to get Argus to drop the weapon, then either drop down onto the hand or grab a hold of it by getting him to slam the ground, getting Wander close enough to deliver the final strike and bring Argus to the ground.
Argus is the penultimate fight of the game, and he does a great job of hyping the player up for the end with how amazing he is.
But Argus is not my favorite boss in Shadow of the Colossus.
No, that title belongs to…

1. Phalanx, the Thirteenth Colossus.

I see Phalanx ranked at the top spot on a lot of lists ranking the Shadow of the Colossus bosses.
In the end, I am no different because Phalanx is a masterpiece of a boss.
Fought in a large desert, the thirteenth Colossus is honestly the most tragic of the entire game.
He is the one Colossi in the game who does not attack Wander, even when provoked.
It is just a peaceful giant, flying through the sand and sky, minding its own business, until we come along to kill it.
It makes me feel guilty for having such fun defeating it, which is pretty much the point of Shadow of the Colossus.
Agro is essential for this fight because you have to chase after Phalanax and shoot arrows into its air sacks, causing it to lower altitude to the point where you can leap from Agro and grab its fins.
From there, much like Avion, you run along its back, striking weakpoints, holding on for dear life when it tries to throw you off.
Eventually, Phalanx dives into the sand and the fun, yet tragic process starts all over again.
Phalanx is a thrilling fight, full of many moments of brilliance which some players can experience.
I have even seen one clip of someone falling from Phalanx, only to land directly on Agro and continue chasing after the Colossi.
Name another video game where you can experience something like that? 
It is for this and many other reasons that I consider Phalanx to be the best boss in Shadow of the Colossus.
  

So, there you go, my ranking for the Shadow of the Colossus bosses.
It is just a shame that BluePoint Games recently got shut down after delivering such a great remake.
I will continue to play Shadow of the Colossus for years to come, and enjoy scaling its colossal beasts even more.
If you somehow have not played this masterpiece of a video game yet, I would highly recommend it. 
Even if you do not love it immediately, you may in time, which is the experience I had.